The Story
Rob and I met at university in Oxford in 2011. He was the year below me and his friends played a key role in our first getting together, spending one particular night-out campaigning on his behalf, introducing and re-introducing him to me throughout the evening until I decided it was easier to relent and speak to this slightly embarrassed young man. A few months later, over a game of backgammon which turned out to be our first date, I realised how for the first time I had met someone I could truly be myself with, and that love can be that simple.
Over the next 10 years we finished university together, moved to London for work, spent 2 years maintaining a long-distance relationship when Rob was abroad, and then months of lock-down together in a 1-bed flat.
In October 2021 Rob arranged a birthday weekend for me in the Cotswolds, which had been somewhere we escaped to for post-exam R&R during our university years. During a long and very crisp but sunny country walk, Rob wearing waterproof trousers and me in a silly hat I was wearing to Cheltenham races the next day, we paused by an open field, and I turned to find him on one knee ā hence the trousers he later explained ā with a ring box in his hand. You wonāt be surprised to hear that I said yes, witnessed by a lone sheep we named Susan. However as a staunch feminist, I wasnāt fully comfortable with this very traditional approach to engagement. He had taken me by surprise, but I got my turn a few months later on our anniversary, when I strung fairy lights and lit candles in our garden by the canal with a bottle of champagne to hand, and on his arrival home, asked him to join me in the garden where I proposed to him. Despite being slightly confused, thinking we were already engaged, he humoured me and said yes.
Rob designed my engagement ring as a yellow gold diamond trilogy ring, based on others he had seen and thought I would like. He had it made by the wonderful Lionel J Wiffen who works with his family team out of his Hatton Garden studio. Lionel explained how the process worked and together they met the diamond dealers and Rob got to choose the stones himself. Rob proposed explaining that I should consider it a āfirst draftā, and that he wanted me to love wearing it every day and that Lionel was on hand to make whatever changes I wanted. Lionel and his team were fabulous, I kept the central stone but substituted the two side pears for baguettes and changed the setting to be more structural and art deco in design. I am so glad Rob was so generous in not being attached to the exact original design, jewellery is such a personal thing and I had never really thought about, let alone communicated, what I would have wanted. It was the perfect way of surprising me, but also letting me have the fun of designing that most important piece of jewellery which I was going to wear every day!
When I proposed to Rob I gave him a Liberty bookmark, a gold metal monstera leaf to remind him of his plant loving partner. He uses it every day when we read together in bed.
You may be getting the gist already that I am someone who likes to do things her way and not follow the status quo, this was the start of things to come, but luckily Rob was willing to come along for the ride.
Venue
We took a long time deciding where and when to get married, it wasnāt top of our āto doā list for quite a long time. After being engaged 18 months we decided the time had come. We were considering a small simple family affair – a London Town Hall or small venue ceremony and meal after, planning to have a big party with friends the following Summer.
Whilst looking at the list of liscenced venues in Westminster we found Fitzrovia Chapel ā the most beautiful little jewellery box of a chapel hidden in the middle of a square just up from Tottenham Court Road. The chapel is small enough to be used for engagements so wouldnāt feel overwhelming for something very intimate, but can seat up to 70 at maximum capacity. The chapel is deconsecrated, so for us it felt like the perfect mix, creating the atmosphere of our traditional upbringing ā we were both raised catholic and I sang in the school choir for many years; whilst allowing a non-religious ceremony which fits with our beliefs now.
We looked at members clubs and hotel private dining rooms for the meal after, and by chance an article in an interiors magazine I read I found the small boutique hotel Lāoscar London which is in Holborn. We went to see their private dining rooms which are lovely, but then the events coordinator Cassie showed us The Baptist, a space which wasnāt advertised on their website and was being renovated and due to open shortly. We fell in love. The space sits in the dome of a converted Baptist church, seating 60 for dinner in the mezzanine dining area which looks down through a central opening to the main space below. It is cosy and intimate, with no sign of other hotel guests, yet big enough to accommodate everything we needed! It was so unique being an Octagonal shaped space and it oozed a laid-back yet elevated charm. The design fitted so well with a winter wedding, textured wood panelling, warm metallics, rich colours and different layers of lighting. Final touch, a private courtyard for those needing to take a break from the dance floor!
We stayed for dinner at the hotel, where we were blown away by the quality of the food and loved the chefās menu choices, and by the end of the evening had changed our plan entirely. We were going to have a small-ish winder wedding for 60 people, in central London, 2 weeks before Christmas.
After some deliberation, we actually decided to get married legally at Islington Town Hall, our local, a few weeks prior to the official ābig dayā. So on a Friday after work, armed with only my oldest friend and my new sister-in-law to be as witnesses, our long-time borrowed dog, and wearing a blue dress we tied the knot. For us, this was one of the best decisions we made. It meant we could separate our decision to get married, and the emotions which come with that, from the stress of organising and hosting a sizable event.
The whole evening was magical and so stress-free. The Islington registrarās were delightful and made it so welcoming, fun and intimate. Our tiny wedding party then went to the pub for mulled wine, and then onto dinner at our local family-run Italian (big shout to Saponara), where we ate delicious homemade pasta, pizza and tiramisu, and laughed and chatted late into the evening. We got home, and we were floating, it was a perfect simple evening, celebrating our love with two people (and a dog) who all love us!
By deciding to hold our wedding in London, it meant a lot of our guests were only a train or a taxi ride away from home, which the weekend before Christmas I know was very welcome! Rob, his family and his groomsmen went for dinner the night before near to Lāoscar, and I did the same with my Mum, sister and āTeam Brideā. We then congregated at the hotel for a manic few hours of set-up, final schedule alterations and 1st dance practice!
Fashion
Being a winter wedding, we were keen to lean into the season ā however I also wanted something I could re-wear, which often isnāt the case for Wedding dresses!
We decided on a black-tie dress code for guests, to bring some Christmas glam and more of an evening cocktail party vibe.
Rob
Rob found his jacket on Mr Porter, deciding on a mid-green velvet smoking jacket from Kingsman. The perfect shade of eucalyptus, not too Christmassy! We recently came back from India where we found an amazing tailor who sent over a made-to-measure dress shirt, partnered with some brass and onyx shirt studs from Esty and Robās grandfatherās mother of pearl cufflinks.
Robās bowtie and pocket square were made by Harlequin, a fabulous UK company who make to order based on fabric you send them. Robs black silk was bought on Beswick street and the groomsmenās bow tie fabric we chose in India and the same tailor arranged for it to be dyed to match Robās jacket. Complicated, but I was so pleased with the results, it felt so personal.
Earlier in the year I had picked up some green braces when travelling in Lisbon, so his velvet jacket was exchanged for these at the point in the day when the dance floor called!
Vanessa
My bridal dress process actually started with headwear. A lover of hats I decided it would be wrong if my wedding outfit didnāt include one. I found on Etsy a simple cream beaded pillbox / band, it was vintage and I knew it was the āsomething oldā I wanted with me, however I had no idea how to plan a dress around it.
From the start I loved the idea of separates so that I could wear them again, and I wanted a shorter skirt so I could dance more easily, but I also wanted a more formal winter dress to reflect the setting of the church and the season, this led me to decide to have two wedding outfits. However, with only 5 months to plan, my options became slightly limited as many stores are made to order and want a minimum of 6-9 months!
Outfit 1: Daytime
I was almost at my wits end, having scoured the internet as well as shops looking for a more formal dress. Considering I was going to the luxury of having 2 dresses I couldnāt justify a huge expense. I had almost given up when I discovered Anthropologieās online bridal department and fell in love with Rebecca Vallanceās designs. Her signature style of simple structured silhouettes combined with feminine detailing got me, and I really hoped it would complement the clean lines of my chosen headwear! My favourite design, which was last seasons, only had one dress left in stock. By chance it was in what I thought would be my size, so I decided it was meant to be and bought it, getting a 75% discount for a no-returns policy! Luckily the fit was pretty spot on.
As you can imagine, being a lover of all things bespoke and personalised, I wasnāt quite satisfied, and I called on Meb from Mirror Mirror Bridal Boutique in Angel (London). She was fabulous, she really quickly understood what I wanted to achieve and was fully on board with the dress-hat combo, I felt like I was in such safe hands. Her team hemmed the dress and together we decided on a few further tweaks ā adding cups, shortening and adding buttons to the sleeves and using a pearl fabric I found to integrate a small train into the oversized bow for even more drama! I loved it, it was important to me that I still felt like myself, but a wedding version of myself.
I paired my dress with gorgeous Harriet Wilde green velvet shoes which matched Robās jacket, a short fur coat I bought from a stall in Notting Hill many years ago and a vintage beaded bag my grandmother gave me.
Wedding now over, I may get my day-dress hemmed to mid-calf length and possibly dyed, meaning I can wear it to more events in the future.
Outfit 2: Evening
I was recommended Catherine Deane, who make lovely dresses but most importantly for me, have a great range of separates and arenāt made to order.
I found an ankle length skirt and bodice which I loved, and using the same pearl beaded fabric from my train, the fabulous Meb (Mirror Mirror) designed and made detachable sleeves. I loved having an outfit change for the evening and being able to move and dance my heart out.
I canāt wait to wear the bodice with jeans on a date night and re-live such a special day.
I paired my dancing outfit first with a pair of tan satin Freed Latin dancing shoes, dug out from my university days when I competed. So very comfortable and bringing lots of happy memories to the dance floor. And second with a new pair of Club C reeboks (my go to), complete with gold ribbons as laces for when I really wanted to throw caution to the wind.
Jewellery
For our rings and my jewellery, the wonderful Lionel J Wiffen got the call up again.
Rob chose a very simple gold band which Lionel made and then matted to Robās liking. I chose a wishbone design in gold, which again Lionelās team made for me. This is where the benefit of going bespoke really made the difference, the ringās thickness and wishbone curve was made to exactly echo my engagement ring, and Rob got to watch and choose what degree of matting he wanted.
I also wore on my right hand an emerald and diamond art deco style ring I bought for myself from Butter Lane Antiqueās, a self-present a few years back when I quit my job and became full time in the property company I run with my sister. It feels really special that lots of things I wore were items I already owned a loved, as well as new things that I will use again.
For my necklace and earrings, I again went antique and bespoke.
I fell in love and bought some art deco gold and pearl fan shaped earrings from Greyās Antiques in Marylebone a few years ago. Lionel used these as a template and made replica fans linking up as a matching necklace. The best bit is that we designed the necklace to be sectional, so for our ceremony in early December I wore all 5 fans, for my day-time outfit on the official wedding day I decided 3 was the right proportion, and for my dancing out-fit I changed to a single fan for something simpler. The necklace was a gift from my mum, and like my dresses I am looking forward to wearing it many times in the future.
Bridal Party
Being an indoor winter wedding, we decided to have adults only.
Alongside their Indian sourced bowties, we found lovely double breasted jackets in an Ink coloured velvet from Moss for the boys. They looked so chic in their wintery black-tie best!
I have been a fan of the ethical fashion brand Aspiga for a year now, I love their stretch cord dresses which I dress up and down depending on the occasion – it is this same dress in mid-blue that I wore for our legal ceremony.
I wanted the bridesmaids to have dresses that they would be able to wear again and again, so with the girls input we decided on this same brand and fabric, and they each chose the style they wanted ā v-neck, round neck, jump-suit ā I loved that they got to personalise their styles. I know two them were worn again on Christmas day which makes me so happy! Because of the thicker fabric and long sleeves I encouraged the girls to join me in an outfit change, so we disappeared upstairs and switched to our party dresses ready for an evening of dancing!
Transportation
Part of the decision to get married in central London was the simplicity of transport. Rob and I were both at Lāoscar the morning of the wedding, he downstairs in the lounge with his Grooms-party and me upstairs with āTeam Brideā. The hotel reception staff couldnāt have done more to help, they efficiently hailed black cabs for us all as required through the morning ā simple, easy and one less thing for us to worry about.
After the ceremony the London Retro Bus Company arrived right on schedule in a vintage red bus to transport everyone back to Lāoscar. It was perfect ā classic, convivial, and most importantly fun.
Florals
From the first call I had with Hattie from Escape to the Cutting Garden I knew she was the one. She understood the look I wanted – natural, seasonal, whimsical and most importantly, the term we coined which was āspillyā. I love flowers and am a keen gardener, which she embraced and let me lead with my ideas, but Hattie knew when to steer me in a certain direction or be frank if something wasnāt going to work. We lent into the season with multitudes of foliage rather than flowers, and Hattie created the effect of a winter woodland with narcissus, ranunculus and hellebores āgrowing upā from the ground as you entered the church, it was just magical and so clever to use highly fragranced flowers, a feast for all the senses.
We meticulously planned where every arrangement would move to in Lāoscar after the ceremony and no-one would have guessed that the team were squirrelling away behind the scenes while guests were enjoying the reception downstairs.
My bouquet was just gorgeous, a culmination of all the flowers used in the arrangements, loose and natural, making a soft contrast to my more structured column dress.
The bridesmaids had simple hand-ties of paperwhite narcissus which smelt divine, the same that I carried when we were legally married a few weeks earlier.
Rob and the boys had baby eucalyptus wreaths for button-holes, which we loved as another nod to the season.
Tablescape
We really wanted the day to be a mix of all the best bits of a wedding combined with the fun bits of Christmas and New Year festivities.
As such we decided the tables should be classy but also colourful and fun. We rented the beautiful Eloise tablecloths courtesy of Maison Margaux, creating a riot of festive colours and pattern and lifting the otherwise heavy wood panelled scheme of the room. Our brilliant florist Escape To The Cutting Garden really delivered with beautiful cut glass candle holders and taper candles in different shades of green, ivory, red and gold. Table settings were finished off with a homemade cracker sporting a mix of coloured satin ribbons, which Rob and I spent many an hour making up in the days before!
Our seating plan (as well as with our invitations and orders of service) were illustrated and worked up by the talented Clare Elizabeth Designs, who I found on Etsy. After some pintrest inspo, I decided on a seating plan which was reminiscent of an advent calendar, using the Lāoscar hotel frontage and its theatre-land location as the theme. Each of the buildingās āwindowsā opened to reveal the names of the guests seated on that table. I loved that Clare was happy to take and run with my design vision and ideas, iterating until we were both happy.
Going bespoke also meant we could create a theme for the stationary based on the gold mosaic ceiling of Fitzrovia Chapel, a thread which ran through from the invites, to the orders of service, to the photobooth signage.
Leaning into Christmas at this point, the 6 table names were selected from the 12 days of Christmas, with table cards showing an illustration rather than a name or number. And low and behold, inside each cracker were the words to the infamous 12 days of Christmas in liu of a hat, which led to a rather raucous rendition served up between mains and pudding, accompanied by one of the Groomsmen on keys. Each table stood up in turn to sing their parts while I ran around with the microphone picking out soloists. It was pure joy.
Drinks were served in champagne saucers rather than flutes, bay and rosemary scented tea-lights and fairy lights enhanced the atmosphere, whilst greenery arches hung overhead ā magic.
Food & drink
The champagne started flowing at the chapel and we continued onto a Nytimber sparking English wine at Lāoscar. I knew several guests wouldnāt be drinking alcohol or might only have a few glasses through the day, so we included a non-alcoholic cocktail, which received rave reviews.
Lāoscar fully lived up to expectations on the food. Adapting restaurant dishes to work as canapeās and delivering beautifully rare beef fillets on mass ā no mean feat. From the ceviche salmon tacos to the ossobuco croquettes via the buttermilk chicken it was all delicious, finished off with a healthy portion of sticky toffee pudding. All paired with delicious wines from the Lāoscar menu.
Gingerbread World absolutely out-did themselves with our gorgeous Gingerbread House. We got to choose our colour scheme and design, and I went overboard by adding leaves and a veg garden made of icing and log pile of broken matchmakers. Totally superfluous but so much fun. We used a wooden mallet and chisel to ācutā it and everyone loved breaking bits off to have with coffee or espresso martinis after dinner.
Once the dancing kicked off the espresso martinis kept flowing, accompanied by porn star martinis ā all served in saucers. Slightly dangerous when it came to spillages, but so much fun.
Entertainment
We wanted the ceremony to feel like it had gravitas but also be personal.
Being a choir girl in my youth I loved the idea of having a choir for our ceremony, and one of the bridesmaids who I used to sing with in our school choir joined them. The group we chose are aptly named āThe London Wedding Choirā and they were simply stunning.
I entered to Darkeās In the Bleak Midwinter, and the two anthems sung during the service were ā John Rutterās What Sweeter Music and Billy Joel / Bob Chillcotās As So It Goes.
Because we were already legally married, we were able to ask my cousin to be the celebrant, which was so special and personal. He led the ceremony, and in place of a sermon included some really touching words he had written about us. This sat perfectly alongside the two readings we chose and our vows which we decided to write ourselves. Along with all of this were three traditional carols ā a nod to the season ā which our guests joined in wholeheartedly, and along with the choir we raised the roof, filling the tiny chapel with sound. I remember standing there, singing my heart out, looking at Rob and wanting to pinch myself that we made all this happen, and all these people were here to celebrate us.
The choir kept up the merry and festive vibes while guests drank bubbles and ate mince pies.
At Lāoscar the Jazz Age vibes were in full swing on our arrival. Our reception band Hot Shoes put together a 5-piece acoustic swing band which created a fun but laid-back atmosphere as the back-drop to canapes. They were superstarās, managing their 2 sets around our photos and timing their break with our speeches before kicking off again and playing us up to dinner.
We broke from tradition in several ways regarding speeches, only Rob and I spoke, and we did so before dinner. Originally this was due layout of the mezzanine dining area, where greenery arches would block the visuals, but deciding to do it before was the perfect solution for us, meaning we were able to relax and really enjoy dinner so much more by having already spoken.
A well curated playlist accompanied dinner, taking us up to our first dance. Again we took a non-traditional approach here, and to Walk The Moonās Shut Up And Dance we re-created how we met, on the dancefloor of a club all those years ago, enlisting the help of our bridal party (many of whom witnessed it the first time around) to set the scene before Rob and I took it away. The perfect magical touch was the confetti cannons, aimed perfectly for the confetti to fall through the circular opening of the dome above and onto the guests as they joined us on the dancefloor for the final chorus.
Truly Medley Deeply absolutely stole the show, whenever they were playing the dancefloor was full. People returned whenever their sets began, running back from the photobooth still wearing an array of hats. The chant of āmany more medleyāsā from the crowd was testament to how fantastic they were, and their DJāing afterwards ensured a strong contingent right up until the final song.
Beauty Regime & Wellness
Philip Hunt or just Phil as he is known amongst our friends was utterly fabulous. No nonsense and unflappable. We made our plan months in advance about when and how much to highlight and cut. The trial run was a dream, making sure we knew exactly what we were doing to secure my headpiece and persuade my rather obstinate hair that it wanted to stay curled. It was like having another friend in the room with me on the day, having fun with us all but also keeping things calm.
I had a few facials at Pre- in Angel in the months before, where the practitioner explained that so much about having good hydrated skin is what you do everyday ā drink water, cleanse and moisturise properly, not what a facialist can do in a one hour treatment. She also introduced me to the Medik8 beauty brand. Their serum and moisturiser really improved how hydrated my skin is, particularly as it was winter. Also Skimono cellulose masks were my final boost the night before and morning of to pack in as much moisture as possible.
I have never had huge success with make-up trials and never feel that I look like myself. Instead I booked a trial at Charlotte Tilbury on the day of our legal marriage, the make-up artist gave me tips and I bought some products to re-fresh my make-up bag, however I still felt a little āover-doneā as I donāt tend to wear much make-up. On the big day, with my bridesmaids for quality control, I re-created the look but toned down the base layer coverage so I felt more like myself.
Some of my bridesmaids and I all had our nails done together the afternoon before, which was such a lovely way to de-stress and a welcome distraction. We took over Pre- in Angel and the staff were so attentive, it was like a mini party before our āTeam Brideā dinner.
Favourite Wedding Gift
We decided to set up a Prezola honeymoon fund for any gifts that guests wanted to give, which worked really well as we already live together and didnāt have anything particular we needed. A few guests did opt to buy something separate and more personal, which was also lovely to have a few surprises to open!
Honeymoon
As we were quite last minute in planning our wedding we already had a trip to India planned for the month before our wedding, therefore a big honeymoon wasnāt on the cards. Instead we had a mini moon housesitting for family in Surrey over Christmas, we shut the doors and spent the 24-27th December just the two of us; curled up by the fire with the pups, enjoying long runs in the countryside and re-living our wedding the week before. Planning an East-Asia honeymoon later in 2024.
Advice
- Decide what aspects of the day you will enjoy planning and/or care about and divide and conquer. For Rob it was food, drink and music, for me it was everything else.
- Decide on a theme / look / feel you want to achieve overall and for each part of the day. It makes it much easier to say no to ideas, because there are so many alternatives, all of which could be beautiful, but you have to find some way of narrowing the options and making sure it all flows and feels put together.
- Donāt do something just because itās the way most people do it, do what feels right for you. I had a Brides-man and Rob a Grooms-woman, we didnāt include the traditional line-up of speeches, our first dance included an organised opening group routineā¦! Ultimately itās just a party where one person, traditionally, is wearing a white dress. All that really matters is why you are there, and if you are both having the best time then everyone else will to.
With thanks
Bride & Groom: @rfclark27 @vanessamitchellproperty
Venue: Fitzrovia Chapel @fitzroviachapel / Lāoscar London @LoscarLondon
Caterer: Lāoscar London @LoscarLondon / Gingerbread World @fabulousgingerbread
Dress: Rebecca Vallance @rebeccavallance / Catherine Deane @catherine_deane / Mirror Mirror @mirrormirrorbridalcouture
Bridesmaids: Aspiga @aspigalondon
Groom outfit: Mr Porter @mrporter / Harlequin @harlequin.uk
Florist: Escape to the Cutting Garden @escape_to_the_cutting_garden
Tableware: Maison Margaux @maisonmargauxltd
Stationery: Clare Elizabeth Design @clareelizabethdesigns
Wedding website: With Joy @withjoy
Photographer: Andrew Leo @leowedphoto
Videographer: Scott Lavene @ScottLavene
Wedding rings: Lionel J Wiffen @lionelwiffenĀ
Makeup: Charlotte Tilbury @charlottetilbury / Pre- @presalons / Skimono @skimono beauty
Hair: Phil Hunt @phollicle
Gift list: Prezola @prezola
Entertainment : The London Wedding Choir @londonweddingchoir / Hot Shoes @hotshoesswing / Truly Medley Deeply @tmd_band / The Photo Booth Guys @thephotoboothguysInside: A Charming Garden Wedding In Chelsea
Related Article: Inside: A Charming Garden Wedding In Chelsea