Everything You Need To Know About Attending A South Asian Wedding

Attending your first South Asian wedding as a guest, bridesmaid, or groomsman is sure to be a vibrant, dazzling, and unforgettable experience. These multi-day celebrations are filled with centuries-old traditions, pre-wedding ceremonies, showstopping fashion, and plenty of Indian cuisine— and understanding the cultural significance of each event, the symbolism behind every ceremony, and how to respectfully participate will mean the world to the happy couple.

So from customs to dress codes, this day-by-day guide has everything you need to fully embrace and enjoy the beauty of a South Asian wedding.

Day One: Mehendi

A South Asian wedding will almost always start out with a mehendi ceremony and celebration. During the mehendi, a soothing henna paste is used to create intricate floral and botanical designs on the bride’s hands and feet, which is said to help with pre-wedding stress. These detailed designs take a few hours, and also include the groom’s name hidden alongside personal touches that reflect the couple’s relationship and families.

Brides will try to leave henna on for as long as possible before washing it off to achieve a deep, dark stain— because the depth of the stain represents the happiness and luck the married couple will see in their future together.

The mehendi celebration was originally a gathering of the women nearest and dearest to the bride who help her to eat and drink while her henna is applied and dries, but in modern weddings, it’s now often open for all guests to dine, dance, and enjoy (but if you’re there, be ready to lend a helping hand if the bride needs you!).

Decor is traditionally orange, pink, and green, although lots of brides now lean into custom colour schemes— but no matter the palette, dressing in bright hues is an absolute must. As a woman in attendance, you may also have the option to get a smaller, simpler design for yourself, which can be done on your palm, wrist, or the back of your hand.

Day Two: Haldi

The day before (or morning of) the wedding, the couple’s family members and members of the bridal party will come together for an intimate ceremony called the haldi. This is a cleansing, protection, and purification of the couple before they begin their new lives together, which involves a pooja, or prayer, followed by each guest applying a turmeric and rosewater paste to the couple’s arms, legs, and faces.

Yellow is an auspicious colour in Indian culture, and is typically seen in every aspect of a haldi, from the turmeric paste, to the decor, to the dress code. If you’re invited to this vibrant event, you will likely see the ceremony performed by a pandit, or priest, and may also have a member of the couple’s family acting as a translator and helping to explain the ceremony’s steps in English.

Day Two: Sangeet

The evening before the wedding— or at the same time as the mehendi— a party called the sangeet will take place. This event is a celebration of the upcoming union of the couple’s families through song and dance, where you’re sure to be surrounded by glamorous attire, delicious cuisine, and a non-stop dance floor.

Over time, the sangeet has also evolved into a friendly competition between the bride and groom’s sides to put on the best performance. So as a bridesmaid or groomsman, you might need to tap into your inner dancer and learn a choreographed routine in the lead-up to the wedding!

The sangeet calls for semi-formal to formal attire, and sequins, embellishments, metallic hues, and statement jewellery are a hundred percent encouraged.

Day Three: Wedding & Reception

The grand finale of a South Asian wedding is the big day itself, which includes the marriage ceremony and evening reception.

The focal point of a Hindu wedding ceremony is a covered structure adorned with florals called the mandap, where the rituals will take place. The bride and groom will enter accompanied by their parents, exchange flower garlands as a symbol of their union, and then take part in the saptapadi— or seven steps— where the couple takes seven sacred vows around a fire under the mandap, signifying the values they will uphold throughout their marriage.

Depending on the couple’s religious beliefs, other ceremonies might also be added or removed, and can vary from wedding to wedding. For example, a Sikh wedding ceremony will happen in the morning and finish before noon, and may require guests to wear head coverings. Some weddings will also have a mangalsutra ceremony, where the groom gifts the bride a sacred necklace, or the groom will apply a red powder called sindoor along the bride’s hair parting, showing her new status as a married woman.

After the ceremonies, it’s time for the final meal and reception. The bride and groom will change from their traditional red lehenga or sari and kurta into more glamorous attire—think a sparkling look for the bride, and a sharp suit for the groom. Much like a British wedding, you can expect a first dance, followed by the couple sharing dances with their parents, before the dance floor opens up for a night of lively celebrations.

Traditions

Over the few days of celebrations, there are some other traditions between the bride’s side and groom’s side you might spot as a guest if you keep an eye out:

The joota chupai is a cheeky competition between the groom’s side and the bride’s younger family members, such as siblings or cousins. In between ceremonies, the bride’s side will do their best to steal the groom’s wedding shoes— and if the groom’s side lets them succeed, it’s going to cost him to get them back. This is meant to be the first of many fun moments shared between the two families, and represents their willingness to accept each other moving forward.

This next one would be impossible to miss: the groom’s processional, or baraat. Before the wedding ceremony, the groom, groomsmen, and his family will arrive in a grand entrance parade at the venue with music, dancing, and a dhol, or drum player. The groom will often ride in on a horse or luxury car, setting the tone for the joy and celebrations ahead.

Etiquette & Dress Codes

When it comes to selecting your outfits, the options for colours are almost endless, but there are a few to avoid: namely red— which is usually reserved for the bride’s wedding ceremony outfit— and white, which is worn only for funerals and mourning.

If you’re comfortable, traditional South Asian attire for pre-wedding celebrations is always appreciated, and renting your looks from services like By Rotation and Bollywood Borrowed is a great way to get involved and embrace the couple’s culture.

Putting together fusion looks by pairing longer dresses and separates with dupattas— or sheer scarves— and traditional jewellery is also an option, and lots of couples will also be more than happy for you to wear the formal wedding guest dresses and suits you would to a British wedding.

Just keep in mind that many religious ceremonies require shoes to be removed and shoulders and knees to be covered, so it’s best to look for pieces with sleeves or bring a shawl or scarf along.

Much like with British weddings, though, it’s always best to check your invitation, the couple’s wedding website, or reach out for specific details on the dress codes, colour schemes, and whether traditional South Asian clothing is requested for any events.

Dining

Across the three to five days of a South Asian wedding, you’ll have the chance to enjoy an assortment of traditional Indian meals, snacks, and beverages. During pre-wedding events and at receptions, food will typically be served buffet-style, and for religious reasons, meals will generally be vegetarian.

Some of the food options you may see are a range of vegetable curries, aloo (or spiced potatoes), paneer (a cheese similar to tofu), raita (a dipping yoghurt made with cucumber and mint), and of course, lots of rice, naan and roti to accompany and dip with. You may also get to try a refreshing mango lassi, which is a blended drink similar to a smoothie or milkshake.

You’ll also see plenty of chaat, or crunchy snack mix, and mithai, or Indian sweets, which can include barfi (a rich milk cake), jalebi (a fried, crunchy snack coated in sticky sugar syrup), gulab jamun (which are similar to donuts and soaked in a rose and sugar syrup), and more.

Gifting

The most traditional gift for a South Asian wedding is money, which you’ll see given via a colourful, embellished envelope called a shagun (you can find these on Amazon or Etsy). If you decide to go for the monetary route for your gift, it’s considered good luck and best etiquette to ensure the amount given ends in a 1.

It’s also becoming increasingly common for couples to curate gift registries through platforms such as The Wedding Present Company if you prefer to give a keepsake, heirloom, or home decor.