The journey
For the white wedding, I only had one dress-shopping appointment, five months before the big day. I would love to say I’m a type B bride, but even B sounds too good for me – I would honestly give myself a Z. I quickly learned that five months is considered last minute in the bridal world. One shop actually refused to show me dresses because they said there was no point, so I went to another and told a cheeky white lie about my wedding date, purely because I wanted inspiration since I was going custom anyway. I tried about four dresses and knew straight away what I wanted – a low basque waist and something playful around the chest. That is exactly what I got.
For the traditional wedding, it is a different story altogether. Being Nigerian, we tend to have two weddings – the traditional and the white. The traditional one is a must in our culture; the white wedding is more of a want. I will be the first to admit I am not a “dress person” in the way some brides are, and it does not take much for me to feel overwhelmed by things like this. I just do not have the knowledge around fabrics and designs and all the rest of it, so I knew early on that I needed a stylist in my corner.
For the traditional wedding I wore two outfits. Some brides change three or four times in one day, and I was very happy to be left out of that conversation. I knew from the start I wanted purple, so my first look was a traditional aso oke outfit in purple, with a lightning bolt detail worked into the fabric to signify power and strength. For my second look I wanted to go old school but with a modern twist, so I chose a miniskirt. It is not exactly traditional in Nigerian culture to wear a mini for this kind of occasion, but I did it anyway.
The vision
I had specific requirements. I am curvy and wanted something that complimented my shape rather than fought against it. I am also heavy-chested, so I was clear that I did not want anything that drew more attention there. I wanted to be playful, not exaggerated. I had a consultation with my stylist, The Wedding Consultant NG, and told her exactly that. I sent over pictures of some of my favourite dresses and styles, and she played around with a few sketches based on what I liked. From there I went to the appointment and tried on different dresses to see what actually worked on me. I have always been a playful, creative person, and I think that came through in the end, especially with the pearls on the dress.
The decision
Very easy, because I did not get anyone else involved apart from my stylist – too many voices would have stressed me out more. I had it in my mind that whatever dress I wore, weddings bring so much emotion that everyone is going to say you look pretty anyway. So the only person who actually needed to feel pretty was me – and I did.
The style support
The best decision I made was getting a stylist in Nigeria, since all my dresses were being made there anyway. The Wedding Consultant NG saved me. Their team drew up the sketch and reached out to designers they believed could execute the dress perfectly. There were so many things I wanted that almost did not exist, so it took trips to Lagos market – an experience in itself, a market and a half, absolutely huge. I would know the day they were going, so I would be on the phone with them in real time, picking what I wanted and what I did not. The support was phenomenal, even down to the sketches – if I did not like something, it would come back redrawn. No one else saw a single sketch until the dress was made. I showed my mum and my best friend then, because at that point, what were they going to say anyway?
The accessories
My stylist picked all the accessories. Their team took some of the material used for the dress to a market to find jewellery that would match. My traditional shoes and clutch came from Lagos market and together cost around £30. When it came to accessories, I went down the saving route rather than the splurging one. I bought my shoes for the white wedding from ASOS. I was not too fussed about them, because I knew it would not take me long to kick them off and party anyway. My necklace was my favourite accessory: it was made from leftover dress material, and a guy measured my neck first so it would be a perfect fit.
Advice for brides
My advice would be to take your time with the planning and the searching. There were certain things I would have loved but time did not allow, so to avoid that, give yourself at least eight months or so to find your dream dress.
The other thing I would say is, for anyone who is type B – or type Z, like me – do not let the pressure take over. I love a wedding, and I love how important the dress is, but I also love peace of mind, and not everything needs so much weight on it. That pressure can end up ruining the whole process.
Favourite photo of the dress
My favourite photo is a faceless one. It captures everything I love about the dress: the lace and beaded detail across the chest, the low basque, and the pearl-drop necklace sitting right at the centre.
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